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Unplugged wires

From time to time I ask myself why I need a Dom to fix my wires and create order in my head. I know I need a Dom, but do nothing about it. I'm not looking for a Dom, I don't even date, not even active on Fetlife. Nothing.

I can't fix it by myself and I don't know why. I don't know why a Dom can do it and I can't. Maybe it's the feeling that someone allows me not to think, so everything can fade away?

A year ago, things got so messy that I wrote Alex and asked him to help. He said he cannot help and I should go to a psychiatric ER and talk to them. He was right. I cannot expect him to always save me. I had to finally let him go. He is not a solution.

Then what is the solution? How can I fix it?

I really don't know.

"I'm sorry I don't understand

Where all of this is coming from

I thought that we were fine (oh, we had everything)

Your head is running wild again

My dear we still have everythin'

And it's all in your mind (yeah, but this is happenin')

You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh oh

You used to lie so close to me, oh oh

There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love

Oh, our love, our love (love)"


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