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I'm out there!

I finally have decided to put myself out there and actively looking for a Dom.

It took me a long time, I admit, but I realized last night I was alone and I need it.


I went out with a friend to a fetish club here in Berlin. Nice music most of the time, nice people with nice outfits. But I needed something none of them could offer me: discipline and belonging. I needed to feel safe from all the guys who are looking at me as I’m a prey. Doms don’t do this. I looked around and felt so alone. All men looked like subs, or just kinky. I’m a traditional sub. I need to respect my Dom and I find it hard to respect someone who looks like he’s the next dish on the table.


My friend was enjoying the music, but he can’t understand what I’m going through. The reason we get along so well is we both are too much of subs. We did try to have vanilla sex, but it didn’t work. We tried adding our kinky stuff. He could do mine. I’m not able to do his. Though I tried to be dominant with him (one might say I’m too dominant in daily life, so what’s the problem), I’m just too well-trained sub in mind. I just can’t.


I left him there and came back home, determined to find a Dom I’d like. Opened my laptop, entered FetLife and edited my profile. I put myself out there. I know what I want, and mostly I don’t want to teach anyone how to be a hard-Dom. I specified exactly with experience, age and location. And the need for a hard-Dom.

I woke up to messages from people living outside of Germany, male subs telling me how beautiful my photos are and I’m a goddess, younger guys who take pride in their playroom (no, I’m not looking for a playdate, I’m looking for a Dom) and, of course, people asking me what hard-Dom is and how it is different from a “regular” Dom. Hint: if you don’t know, please don’t write me. Just google.


I did receive one message that I liked, though not very realistic, since he’s from the U.S. and I’m in Berlin.64-years-old man, good with words and knows his way to a sub’s heart, no doubt. I actually loved the message, not only liked. Sadly, I don’t want to do long-distance anymore. I need someone to control and protect me here, in Berlin.He proved me my type exists though, so now I just need to find the same in Berlin.

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